title: chicken noodle casserole
categories: main dish, poultry, main dish
yield: 4 servings

1 c  chicken broth
1 c  fresh parsley; chopped
2 tb butter
2 tb vegetable oil
1    carrot, sliced
1    onion, chopped
2    carrots, cut in chunks
3    garlic cloves, minced
1 ts chili powder
1 ts cumin
1 ts ground cumin
2 ts ground cumin
1 ts ground cumin
1/2 ts ground cumin
1/2 ts cayenne pepper
1/4 ts ground coriander
2    cloves garlic, minced
1/4 c  green pepper, chopped
1 tb peanut oil
2 tb chopped fresh parsley
salt and pepper

1. combine the soy sauce, salt, pepper, celery salt, basil and pepper.
shape into balls and place on a lightly greased cookie sheet. bake at 350
for 30-40 minutes.  the chicken should be soft.  serve with fresh
vegetables.

Dang, this one made me hungry. Add some sticky rice or chicken or something to those and that could be really tasty. But what’s with those ingredients?

We also start to see hints of the absurd creeping in, such as:

[truncated due to really long ingredient list]

cook pasta according to package directions; drain. rinse with cold
water; drain.  combine cornstarch and water in a large bowl and add
to meat mixture.  mix lightly with potato masher. stir in milk and beat
until smooth. pour into shallow baking dish and bake in preheated 350
degree oven for 25 minutes. remove from oven.  cool on wire rack.

Mix… with a potato masher?

      title: cranberry crisp potatoes
categories: vegetables, ethnic
yield: 1 servings

2 lb smoked beef, cubed
salt and pepper
cilantro sprigs
serrano pepper
chopped canned tomatoes

combine all ingredients in a medium bowl.  add the beans to the cooked
pasta and set aside.  place the oil in a 2-quart saucepan and cook
over medium heat for 5 minutes. add the onions and cook for 2
minutes. add the remaining ingredients, except the cheese. cook for
another 5 minutes or until the sauce thickens. serve over rice.

Another one that sounds pretty good, if you assume “all ingredients” refers to the ingredients above, and assuming you have the extra ingredients like the beans and the cooked pasta on hand.

We also see stuff like this:

     title: chinese cabbage & tomato salad
categories: salads, salads
yield: 6 servings

1    carrot, cut in 1 inch pieces
1    onion, chopped
1    garlic clove, chopped
1 ts salt
1/4 ts pepper
1    red bell pepper, seeded
-and chopped
1 tb chopped fresh parsley
2 tb sugar
1 ts salt
1 ts pepper
1/2 ts cayenne pepper
1 ts salt
1 ts sugar
1/2 ts sugar
1 ts sesame oil
1/4 c  cider vinegar
1 tb water
salt and pepper to taste
freshly ground black pepper

place all ingredients in a small saucepan and cook until the mixture
boils and thickens.  remove from heat.  add beans and cook for another
30 minutes.  add remaining ingredients and simmer for a further 5
minutes.  add soy sauce and simmer for about 10 minutes or until
thickened. serve over rice.

Notice how many times sugar and salt show up in that ingredients list?

And also this nonsense:

     title: chinese chicken
categories: chicken, main dish
yield: 4 servings

—————————steak——————————–
1 c  crushed corn
1 c  chopped onion
1/2 c  chopped green pepper
1 c  chopped celery
1 c  chopped green pepper
1 c  chopped celery
1 c  chopped onion
1 c  chopped onion
1 c  chopped green pepper
1 c  chopped carrots
1 c  chopped celery
2 c  chopped celery
1 c  chopped celery
1 c  chopped celery
1 c  sliced fresh mushrooms
1 c  chopped onion
1 c  chopped onion
1 c  chopped celery
2 tb fresh lemon juice
2 tb white vinegar
1 ts salt
1 ts ground cumin

place the sausage, chicken in a small container and puree until smooth.
add the chicken stock and bring to a boil.  reduce heat and simmer
for 10 minutes. add the beans, cover and cook for about 20 minutes.
mash the chicken and reduce the heat to medium and cook until
the meat is tender, about 20 minutes. meanwhile, bring the chicken to a
boil and simmer for 5 minutes, stirring occasionally. add the corn,
salt, pepper, sugar and worcestershire sauce, and cook for 1 minute.
add the garlic, salt and pepper and stir for another minute. add the
chicken and continue to stir for a few minutes longer. remove the chicken
from the heat and stir in the salt and pepper. return the corn to
the pot and simmer for about 20 minutes. serve the sauce with the
sauce. serves 6.

How would you even do this? You start by PUREEING SAUSAGE, and ends by serving the sauce with sauce. I laughed so hard at this one it hurt.

Moving on to the opposite extreme, temperature = 1.0

Warning: Absurdist Cooking

     title: danish icebox
categories: breads
yield: 10 servings

1 c  plain yogurt
2 tb light soy sauce
1/2 ts salt
1/8 ts freshly ground pepper
1    onion

cut beef into 1″ x 1/4″ rings.  blanch oranges in salt fat oil and
lemon flavour. meanwhile, cut bacon over chicken to 1/2 inch thickness.
carefully scoop chicken breasts off cod that look skins desired with a
doagh cloth masher; cut kabobs into cubes. in batches, combine
cinnamon, cayenne, salt and pepper; stir into the dressing mixture.
bake 20 minutes.

add chopped clams to marinade and garnish with scallions.

Ahh, the Danish Icebox. A classic comfort food from the old world. Those quaint traditions, like cutting the bacon over chicken, which you then scoop off cod. Cod that looks like skins.

     title: fettucine soup
categories: soups, ceideburg 2
yield: 1 servings

2 tb canola oil
3 ea chicken breast halves
5 tb lemon juice
2 tb sugar
1/2 ts curry powder
2 tb soy sauce
3 tb cornstarch
1/3 c  dry white wine
7 ea chick peas, sliced
1 c  chopped green pepper
2 tb salt
1 tb parsley flakes
1    whole alternight bones
2 c  star brown broth
2 oz cream cheese
paprika

brown beef in butter. add vegetables and cook on high heat until
browned. increase heat to 315 degrees f. heat 2 teaspoons butter in a
saucepan over medium heat. when hot, add onions, onions, parsley,
bell pepper, basil, parsley, capers and salt. cook for 5
minutes (add parsley to the oil and cook until the wine has been reduced
by half,about 12min.ends the same manner to warm over moderate
heat just until egg mixture just comes to a boil. remove as much of
the cooking liquid and foam in pan.  combine the egg white and sugar in
a small bowl. form into balls and press down to finish cooking. bake
at 375 f for one hour, until the patties pull away from sides of
the pan. serves 6 to 8.

That… is not fettuccine soup. I don’t know what that is, but that unmatched open-paren haunts me). There we go.

      title: apricot-apple deluxe
categories: side dishes, tex-mex, poultry
yield: 12 servings

4 ea egg whites
1/2 c  coconut
2 c  pecan halves
6    shredded horseradish
fresh ripe toasted walnuts*
sliced strawberries
mint extract
fruit preserves:
3/4 ts almond extract
1/2 ts vanilla extract
combine warm orange juice
concentrate, pecans,
whipped, lemon rind

:       preheat oven to 275 degrees f.

in a large bowl, combine the champagne and sugar. melt, stirring
constantly, or a few minutes to combine it well. stir in
margarine and chocolate.  set the bowl over simmering water in a
microwave oven 5 minutes or until the mixture is liquid is evaporated. stir in
the grape-nuts and frost it evenly with melted chocolate and mix
well. pour the mixture into the center of the pudding (using a
syrup), then combine in hot water until smooth. beat vigorously until smooth.

Why is this tex-mex? WHY DOES IT HAVE HORSERADISH? Some questions will never have answers. I love those instructions, though. It feels so avant-garde. You melt sugar into champane, then add butter and chocolate and evaporate out the liquid in a microwave? I… kinda want to try this one.

Here are some dumps:

t=0.5

t=0.75

t=1.0

I might do more intervals in between at some point– I typically do a 0.6, 0.8, 1.0 spread, but thought I’d space them out for a bit more variety this time.

Next I think I’m going to go back and try to generate some grants again. That sounds like fun.