Steam Games

While I work on my next big project, I decided to generate some random steam game names. All of these are games that don’t actually exist:

Happy Panic

Unraveled Land

Mad Sharkness

The Heart’s Medicine

formic innocence

Heroes Over Europe – Full Mojo

Lovely Ventures

The Gravesable Moon Visual Novel

Hotline Miami 3: Back under Begins

Redemption Cemetery: Secret Of The Angel

Nightman: Trigger Element Space

Hellfrosted

Princess Maker Expedition

Gorescripted Addiction: Possibility

Mars Indian

The Ember Sigil

Train Simulator: Eternal Gun

5-Bit Soundtrack

Best Force

Happy Fantasy

Jackal Journey

Signal Flyng

 

And the winner for the most probable steam game name is:

The Walking Dead: Inside The Walking Dead: “The Secret of the Magic Crystal”

and also:

Steam Dev Days: Steam Edition

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Espresso is the marshmallow of coffee (fun with Word2Vec)

In exploring the recipe dataset, I decided to have some fun with Word2vec, an algorithm originally created by Google. For the layperson, this algorithm works by looking at the context in which a given word appears and learns vectors to represent words such that words that appear in similar context have similar vectors. On the recipe dataset, this means that, for example, the vectors for vodka and cognac are very close together, wheat and rye are very close, chocolate and butterscotch are very close together, etc.

What’s really neat about this, though, is that it enables us to do some very interesting things. One of the properties of the vectors created is the ability to perform vector arithmetic, adding and subtracting these semantic vectors to create word analogies. Here are a few examples: (read a – b + c = d as “b is to a as c is to d”)

pie – pizza + calzone = blintz

That makes sense! Never would have thought of that to be honest.

banana – plantain + apple = blueberry

I guess an apple is just a big blueberry. Who knew

candy – marshmallow + coffee = espresso

I guess that makes sense. Weird though.

 fish – tuna + chocolate = candy

Ok, tuna is a type of fish, chocolate is a type of candy. I guess I’ll let that one slide.

coffee – tea + lemon = orange

tea – coffee + lemon = lime

That’s interesting. It seems to think coffee is sweeter than tea.

coffee – knife + spoon = expresso

Interesting. In addition to the marshmallow of candy, it’s also the spoon of cutlery.

rasin – grape + fish = offal

Wow, ok, I guess it doesn’t like rasins.

brie – cheese + candy = meringues (closely followed by “fondant”)

Makes sense. Fancy, soft, light.

ribbon – bar + dome = tented

Let’s try the classic word2vec analogy:

king – man + woman = bruce

What. The next closest option is “retired.”

I’m going to continue experimenting with this. I’ve also been getting some really good results with the chef-rnn, so I’ll get back to you with more of that soonish as well.

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Chicken soup (for the robot soul?)

So I did a little more training with the chef-rnn at a lower learning rate to fine-tune it a bit and got some shockingly good results, with some weird quirks. I really just couldn’t resist posting more recipes. These are so much fun to read and try to imagine cooking/eating. This is the closest I’ve ever gotten to eatable food, and I’m kind of tempted to try some of these at some point. As usual, I’m going to start

title: chicken & sausage pie
categories: pies
yield: 6 servings

2 chicken breasts, boneless
1 tb olive oil
1 garlic clove, crushed
1/4 c butter or margarine
1/4 c bread crumbs
1 c shredded mozzarella cheese
1 c shredded swiss or cheddar
-cheese
1 c shredded cheddar cheese

preheat oven to 350 degrees. in a small bowl, combine chicken,
cheese, parsley, mustard, salt and pepper. spread evenly over chicken
mixture. place a layer of chicken on top. bake uncovered at 350 for
20 minutes. sprinkle with parmesan cheese. bake uncovered for 10
minutes or until cheese melts and cheese is melted.

Wow… that actually sounds pretty good. Replace “chicken” with “sausage” at some point so it fits the name, and this could be a decent meat pie. A warning: this version of the network loves chicken.

title: chicken & vegetable stir fry
categories: main dish, poultry, cyberealm
yield: 6 servings

1 chicken
salt
pepper
soy sauce
olive oil
1 c mayonnaise
2 tb tomato paste
1 tb green onions, chopped
1 tb cumin
1 tb chili powder
1 ts worcestershire sauce
1/2 ts cumin
1/4 ts cinnamon
1/2 ts sugar
1/2 ts paprika
1/4 ts pepper

combine all ingredients in a saucepan and simmer until the vegetables
are tender. add chicken and simmer for another 5 minutes. add the
sauce and cook another 5 minutes. serve over rice.

each serving provides: 448 calories; 21 g protein; 12 g carbohydrates;
12 g fat; 30 mg cholesterol; 316 mg sodium; 31 mg calcium.

This needs more vegetables in my opinion, and I’m not a fan of the cup of mayonnaise, but ok, I can see this working.

title: chicken & vegetable soup (salsa de chili)
categories: poultry, soups/stews
yield: 6 servings

2 chicken breasts, boned and
-skinned
1/2 lb mushrooms, sliced
1 c onion, chopped
1 cn cream of mushroom soup
1 cn chicken broth
1 ts salt
1 tb chili powder
1/2 ts pepper
2 c chicken broth
2 c chicken stock
1 c parmesan cheese
3 chicken breasts, boned

1. place chicken with thyme, bay leaf, parsley, parsley, salt and
pepper in shallow baking pan. 2. heat, uncovered, in microwave oven
5 minutes or until chicken is tender. 3. add chicken, cook 10 minutes
or until chicken is tender. 3. remove chicken from pan and keep warm.
2. melt butter in same skillet over medium heat. add chicken
and saute over medium heat for 5 minutes or until lightly browned.
7. add beef stock to pan; cook, stirring often, until slightly
thickened, about 4 minutes. stir in chicken and orange juice. 5.
spoon sauce over chicken and vegetables; sprinkle with cheese.

And now it’s a soup! With orange juice! Also, it’s a multi step recipe, but the step numbers are totally out of order (it goes 1 2 3 3 2 5 7 5). ‘Let’s try that again,’ says the network

title: chicken & vegetable soup
categories: soups, poultry, casseroles
yield: 6 servings

6 chicken breast halves
— boned, skinned
4 tb butter
1/2 c onion, chopped
3 garlic cloves, minced
1 c water, hot
1 ts salt
1 ts pepper, black
6 oz can chopped green chiles
1 1/2 c milk
1/4 c onion, minced
1/4 c flour
1 c chicken broth
2 tb cornstarch
1 c milk
1/2 c cornstarch
1 c cheddar cheese, grated

preheat oven to 350 degrees. combine flour, salt and pepper. heat
oil in skillet over medium heat. add chicken and cook until no longer
pink and browned. remove from pan and set aside. add onion to skillet
and cook until tender. add tomato sauce, chicken stock, chili sauce,
chili powder, and cumin. bring to a boil and simmer 10 minutes or
until chicken is tender. remove chicken from cooking liquid. add
chicken and stir to coat well. serve over rice.

I love how often it adds “serve over rice” to the end of recipes. I thought this was a soup! That aside, this does sound like a decent soup, so I can’t complain here.

title: ham steaks with rice
categories: pork, meats
yield: 6 servings

1 lb ground lamb
1 clove garlic, minced
3 tb olive oil
1/2 c chopped onion
1/2 c chopped celery
1 cn cream of mushroom soup
1 cn tomato sauce
1 cn tomato paste
1 tb cumin
6 oz sour cream
2 c sour cream
1 cn 10 oz. pasta shells
1 onion — sliced
1 cn tomato sauce
1 cn tomato sauce
1 cn tomato sauce — 14 oz
can use 1 can kidney beans
1 cn cream of chicken soup
2 c milk
1 ts salt

cook bacon until crisp. remove from pan and drain off fat. stir in
chili powder and cayenne pepper. add tomatoes and salt. cook until
meat is tender. add butter, salt, pepper and sugar. add salt and
pepper to taste. add tomato paste and simmer for 30 minutes. add meat
and cook about 15 minutes longer. stir occasionally. add water if
needed to thicken. serve over hot noodles.

Wow, those ingredients… It really likes using soup as ingredients. Also the idea of adding water to thicken, it clearly doesn’t understand something there.

title: cheese tortellini sandwiches
categories: sandwiches, meats, cheese/eggs, sandwiches
yield: 4 servings

1 12″ sandwich buns (about 1
-pound)
1 c mayonnaise or salad dressing
1 tb milk
1 tb prepared mustard
1/2 ts salt
fresh ground black pepper
corn tortillas (optional)

mix the cheese and seasonings together in a bowl. combine the cheese
with the cheddar cheese and stir into the cheese. place in a lightly
greased 9-inch square baking dish. sprinkle with the cheese, and
sprinkle with cheese. bake for 20 minutes. remove from oven and allow
to stand for 10 minutes before serving. serves 6 to 8.

Oh jeez, another recipe with a full cup of mayo. Why do you need a full cup of mayo (or salad dressing) in a  tortellini sandwich?

title: baked salmon with shallots
categories: fish
yield: 4 servings

2 tb butter
1 tb white wine vinegar
1 ts salt
1 ds pepper
4 shrimp (2 1/2 lb ea.)
-(1 lb); peeled, and
– cut into 1/2-inch cubes
1 c chicken broth
2 tb capers; drained
1 tb fresh parsley; chopped

remove skin from chicken breasts and discard. remove skin and bones
from chicken; set aside. in a large skillet, heat oil over medium heat.
add chicken and cook, turning the chicken for about 10 minutes or
until cooked through and cooked through. set aside.

in a small bowl, whisk together the remaining ingredients. pour over
the chicken. serve immediately.

Wow, you could cook this with only fairly minimal changes. But also, why are the shrimp cubed? Why is that necessary?

Okay, I could write about these all day. Let’s look at some weird edge cases. What happens when I turn the temperature all the way down? (to 0.1, the lowest value it will let me use)

title: baked stuffed carrots
categories: vegetables
yield: 4 servings

1 lb fresh spinach
1 tb olive oil
1 tb lemon juice
1 ts salt
1/2 ts pepper
1 tb olive oil
1 onion, chopped
1 clove garlic, minced
1 tb fresh parsley, chopped
1 tb fresh parsley, chopped
1 tb fresh parsley, chopped

in a large saucepan, combine the carrots, onion, celery, carrots,
celery, carrots, celery, carrots, celery, parsley, bay leaf, pepper,
and salt. bring to a boil, reduce the heat and simmer, covered, for
15 minutes. strain the stock through a fine sieve into a bowl. add
the chicken stock and the remaining ingredients and toss to coat.
serve immediately.

title: chicken a la parmesan
categories: poultry
yield: 4 servings

1 chicken, cut up
1 c chicken broth
1 c chicken broth
1 c chicken broth
1 tb cornstarch
1 tb soy sauce
1 tb cornstarch
1 tb water
1 tb cornstarch
1 tb water

cut chicken into small pieces. combine chicken broth, soy sauce,
vinegar, sugar, salt and pepper in a small bowl. add chicken and
cover with plastic wrap. microwave on high for 10 minutes. remove
chicken from broth and set aside. combine cornstarch and water in a
small bowl. add to skillet. cook and stir until thickened. serve over
rice.

[after this it just starts repeating “1 ts cayenne pepper” over and over]

I, uh, wow. That first one sounds really good, and the second is a weird way to cook a chicken (which involves a sauce that is just corn starch and water). I think it would need some modification to be eatable (e.g. actually cook the chicken) but it seems totally reasonable otherwise.

What happens if I let the network overfit a bit? To do this, I sample from not the best checkpoint, but the most recent checkpoint. Typically the validation behavior is a very rapid drop, followed by a much more gradual decline, and then eventually it bottoms out or starts going up- this means the network has overfit to the data and is reproducing the inputs instead of generalizing to new data.

title: cornmeal bread pudding
categories: desserts, puddings
yield: 1 servings

1 c popcorn, unsalted
3 c sugar
1 c milk
2 eggs
1 ts vanilla
2 c coconut, shredded
2 c cottage cheese
1 tb orange rind, grated
2 c coconut
1 c chocolate chips

preheat oven to 350 degrees. grease a 13x9x2-inch baking pan. in a
medium bowl, combine flour, baking soda, salt, cinnamon and nutmeg.
stir in buttermilk and eggs. blend well. add chocolate chips, stir
until well blended. spread batter evenly into prepared pan. bake 15
to 20 minutes or until a wooden pick inserted in center comes out
clean. cool in pan on wire rack. cut in squares.

Yeah, that seems reasonable. Too reasonable. Fortunately, the ingredients are great- Why does it have popcorn? I guess that would have to be a topping or something? All said, this one could be pretty good.

title: chocolate fudge bars
categories: candies, chocolate
yield: 1 servings

1 c sugar
1 c butter or margarine
2 c confectioners’ sugar
1 ts vanilla
2 c milk
1 c chopped walnuts

cream butter and sugar until light and fluffy. blend in egg and
vanilla. sift flour with baking powder and salt and add to creamed
mixture. mix in another 1/2 cup of chocolate chips. pour into greased
and floured 9″ round cake pan. bake at 350 f for 50-55 minutes. cool
in pan and cut into squares.

Ok, there’s no way that’s not a real recipe with a few modifications. That’s too good. There were a couple like this, so I’ll skip over them for now.

title: fish fillets
categories: fish
yield: 4 servings

-waldine van geffen vghc42a
1 lb fish fillets; cut into 1/2″
-cubes
1 c walnuts; chopped
1 c peanut oil
1 c water
1 clove garlic; minced
1 tb butter
1 tb flour
2 tb sugar
1 tb cornstarch
1 tb water
1 pn salt
1 ts worcestershire sauce
1 ts cornstarch

preheat oven to 375f. lightly butter a 13 x 9 x 2 inch baking
dish. sprinkle the shrimp with the salt and pepper. arrange the
artichokes in a single layer on the carrots. add the onion and garlic,
and sprinkle with the garlic powder. place the chicken breasts on top
and bake for 15 minutes or until they are soft and crunchy.

place the chicken in a serving bowl and top with the basil sprigs.
sprinkle with parsley and serve immediately.

serves 4.

I love this one because of “soft and crunchy.”

And then we get this monstrosity:

title: frosty chocolate cheesecake (lacto)
categories: chocolate, cakes, desserts, cheesecakes
yield: 16 servings

—————————crust——————————–
1 c sugar
1 pk strawberry pudding mix
1 c cold water
2 tb margarine; melted
1 ts vanilla extract

————————–filling——————————-
1 c sugar
2 tb cornstarch
1 ts cream of tartar
1/4 c cocoa
1/2 c water
1 ts vanilla

—————————glaze——————————–
1 c sugar
1 ts cornstarch
1 ts cornstarch
1 ts lemon juice

combine the chocolate chips, sugar, corn syrup and salt in a heavy
saucepan over medium-high heat. cook over moderate heat, stirring
constantly, until the sugar is dissolved. remove from the heat and
stir in the butter until dissolved. stir in the vanilla and coconut.
spoon into a 9-inch springform pan. using a rolling pin, score the
cake layers in the pan. bake the cake in the middle of a preheated
350f oven for 50 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center
comes out clean. cool on a wire rack for 10 minutes, then remove the
cake from the pan and cool completely.

in a small saucepan, combine the chocolate and water. cook, stirring
constantly until the chocolate is melted. remove from the heat and
stir in the coconut. spread the chocolate mixture over the cream
cheese mixture, and spread the remaining cream over the cake. top
with the remaining chocolate truffle mixture. refrigerate until
chilled.

to serve, cut into squares and serve with a sprinkle of confectioners
sugar.

nutritional information: calories 163 (39% from fat); protein 2.4g;
fat 3.1g (sat 3.4g, mono 0.1g, poly 0.9g); carb 12.5g; fiber 0.5g; chol
78mg; iron 1.6mg; sodium 392mg; calc 16mg

This monstrosity of a recipe. It might even make a cake. But those ingredients will definitely not make something I’d want to eat today.

The fun part about the overfit network is that if I turn the temperature up too high it gets weird.

title: jack’s hot chicken salad
categories: salads, poultry
yield: 12 servings

3 (350 ml) dried hot chiles
4 skinless chicken breasts
(melted — about 1 pint)
1/2 to 2et cooking bagels
8 thick pastry sheets
1 lg onion
3 garlic cloves,large
1 ts garlic powder
1 c water

directions: place potatoes in a heavy pot over ham heat. add the
s&p. and bring to a boil over high heat, continuing to toss the last 2
minutes of cooking.

put the clam juice, wine and vinegar into a medium saucepan and
add the rice. bring it as the grain cooks. bring to its boil over
medium heat, then pierce it off with a knife; over low heat, simmer
for 15 min. until the flavors have blended. strain the fruits and
reserve the liquid.

cut the cauliflower into bite sized pieces. wash these and peel
them.

after the couscous has cooled, the next day, rinse under cold water
and place in a dipping bowl.

meanwhile, rinse the chicken with a mixture of warm water and 1/4 tsp
salt.

drying liquid 1: sprinkle the breadcrumbs evenly over the skin, each
one. lightly brown the spareribs in it in a little oil in a roasting
pan and add remaining ingredients. cover and cook over low fire for 1
minute per side.

flay the squid together.

Wow. I think I’ll just let that one stand on its own.

title: irregular beef
categories: main dish, beef
yield: 6 servings

1 lb ground beef, lean
1 md onion
1 garlic clove, minced
1 c water
1 large can tomatoes, chopped
1 cn salt cod use water pasta
-(no salt and tabasco)

in a large saucepan place 2 or 3 cups beef bouillon cubes; set aside.
cook sausage over medium heat until tender. remove, and drain pieces;
place in a greased 9-inch baking dish. sprinkle margarine on bottom
and sides. repeat two more or more. cover and bake at 350 degrees for
5 minutes. combine mayonnaise, mustard, horseradish, pepper, curry
powder and salt, using the metal blade. on a baking sheet, place a mixt of
the eggs, salt and pepper, and the beaten egg abert to the meat
mixture. fill each scallop mixture with the egg mixture and then top
with 1 t of parmesan cheese. bake at 500 f for 45 mins. or until
beginning to bubble.

Ok, I think we can ignore the recipe and just go from the instructions here. This will definitely make some irregular beef.

Just to compare, here’s the non-overfit network at a high-temperature:

title: home-made maple pineapple jam
categories: relishes
yield: 1 batch

1/2 lb plain flour
salt
1 tb peanut oil
1 c sliced fresh cooking apples
1 ts instant coffee
2 oz self-raising flour

divide egg whites equally among oiled serving dishes. place your
finger and chopped mint in a hot water bath and refrigerate overnight.
when it comes out clean, toss it over in a 900′. in order to melt the
caramel thermometer, pour in the banana sauce. serve in ice cream
refrigerator. the recipe was doubled…yeast! place the kebab in a deep
1 quart or tiled container and let stand at room temperature. when
firm it is done at its way folks, but not enough to within another.
pour into container and freeze up to one month.

Mmm, maple pineapple jam sounds good. But the instructions… You have to refrigerate your finger overnight and melt a thermometer.

Later on we get cool stuff like:

cream butter and sugar, heat to medium. add banana, eggs, vanilla,
cinnamon, nutmeg and lemon rind; beat at low speed until fluffy,
whirl in dry ingredients, no longer, add cream cheese and beat until
smooth. stir in currants. drop by rounded tablespoonfuls, 2″ apart,
3 inches apart. be careful not to knock some of the rest of the
cookies.

The beginnings of a tasty sounding banana cookie.

title: freezer mix jelly
categories: relishes
yield: 1 servings

1 1/2 c instant mashed potatoes
1 pk unflavored gelatin
3 c cranberry juice
1 pk cream cheese (7 oz)
1 1/2 c mayonnaise
10 oz feta cheese

blend sugar and vermicelli til smooth. place in ice-water bath; mix well
and pour over salad.

A… thing.

steam the oranges for 4 minutes. into a blender, combine the flour,
salt, and corn meal. process for 30 seconds. add the butter and
margarine, and pulse for about 5 seconds. add the pureed apples
and the margarine. process on low the bowl until the mixture is
combined evenly. add the remaining 1/2 cup mashed bananas.

Some kind of… fruit cake?

In summary, I’ve gotten really astounding results and the number of actually somewhat cookable recipes has gone up immensely (I think?). I’m definitely putting a lot more thought into the idea of cooking some of these and making an RNN cookbook.

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CycleGAN and Chef-RNN update

There has been a development in image generation that I find absolutely fascinating. It’s based off Generative Adversarial Networks, which are a very powerful and promising model for image generation. A recent modification to this architecture, the Conditional GAN has been making some waves, as it allows for the translation of one type of image to another, but it has the drawback of requiring databases of before and after images with roughly 1:1 correspondence, which is difficult to find, dramatically limiting the applications. However, very recently, the folks at UC Berkley made a few additional modifications which remove this requirement, creating the CycleGAN architecture. I’ve downloaded the source and been using the Flickr api to do some experiments with it, including trees <=> flowers, summer <=> fall, summer <=> winter, and landscape <=> desert. Legal disclaimer: I don’t own the rights to any of the images here. Unfortunately I neglected to get the photographers’ info when I scraped the images, but if anyone knows the creator of any of the original images please let me know. Here’s a few example images I’ve gotten so far:

Trees<=>flowers doesn’t work very well, which isn’t too surprising, but it is pretty entertaining sometimes what it does. It found pretty early on that it can do decently by just inverting the colors, but eventually the behavior got more complex and started making gross brown flowers:

summer<=>fall works just… absurdly well. It’s a bit scary, and some of the results are really pretty. With some parameter tuning and more (and better sanitized) data, this could be really cool! I’m definitely going to do some more experimentation with this.

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summer<=>winter also works, though I couldn’t get it looking as good as the authors of the paper did. These examples are a bit cherry-picked, though– it never really learned how to fully get rid of snow, but it’s really good at color balance adjustments that make it feel way more wintery/summery.

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The “desertifier” was largely unsuccessful. It never learned how to make things into sand like I’d hoped, but I didn’t train it for nearly as long as the others, and the success cases give me hope that it could learn:

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Essentially what I’ve found is that the network doesn’t like to totally get rid of anything or hallucinate new things, even when it would make sense to do so. For example, if it gets rid of some water to make a desert, it might not be able to put it back- because of how the Cycle-GAN works, it needs to be able to reconstruct the original image. What it is really good at is changing colors and patterns, less good at structural stuff. I’d bet that you might be able to improve this behavior with skip connections between the initial transformation and the reconstruction pass. This would be similar to the “u-net” encoder-decoder architecture described, except the connections between the encoder and the decoder would also connect the first step of the titular cycle to the second. It might defeat the purpose a bit, but as long as there’s still an information bottleneck it might help.

Robo-Chef strikes again (barbecue sauce edition)

Finally, I discovered that I never did any experimentation with the sequence length I used to train my robo-chef, which would put a hard limit on how long it could remember things. Here are some recipies from a network trained with a much longer memory (3.5X longer)

Low Temperature (0.3)

title: corn soup
categories: soups
yield: 1 servings

1 c buttermilk
1 c chicken stock
1/2 c butter
1 c sour cream
1 ts salt
1/8 ts pepper
1 ts paprika
1 c flour
1 ts baking powder
1 ts sugar
1/2 ts baking soda
1/2 ts cayenne pepper
1 tb butter
1 c cheddar cheese, shredded

combine cornmeal, flour, salt and pepper. stir in buttermilk and
corn flakes. stir in cheese and cheese. bake in a greased 9-inch
square pan in a 350 f oven for 20 minutes. serve with sauce. source:
pennsylvania dutch cook book – fine old recipes, culinary arts press,
1936.

That ain’t a soup! But look, it remembered the buttermilk! If you follow the instructions, you might end up with… some kind of cheesy corn-flake pastry? Weird.

title: cranberry cream cheese cake
categories: cakes, cheesecakes
yield: 1 cake

1 pk cream cheese, softened
1 c sugar
2 eggs
1 ts vanilla
1 c flour
1 ts baking powder
1/2 ts salt
1 c chopped walnuts
1 c chopped nuts
1 c chopped nuts

heat oven to 350 degrees. combine crumbs, sugar and cinnamon in a
small bowl. add egg and mix well. spread over crust. bake at 350
degrees for 10 minutes. cool. cut into squares. makes 12 servings.

source: canadian living magazine, apr 95 presented in article by diana
rosenberg

That’s a lot of nuts! Also it forgot the cranberries. Once again, the instructions seem to be totally independent of the ingredients, but would make… some kind of cinnamon crumb pie? That actually sounds kind of delicious. I bet you could probably make something really tasty out of this one.

title: bran muffins (cookbook style)
categories: breads, fruits
yield: 12 servings

1 c flour
1 ts salt
1 ts baking powder
1/2 ts salt
1 c sugar
1 c milk
1 c milk
1 egg
1/2 c milk
1/2 c buttermilk
1 ts vanilla
1 c chopped pecans

combine flour, baking powder, salt and sugar. cut in shortening with
pastry blender until mixture resembles coarse meal. add egg and mix to
blend. stir in buttermilk and egg mixture. stir in raisins and nuts.
pour into greased 9-inch square baking pan. bake at 350 degrees for
30 minutes. cool in pan on rack 10 minutes. remove from pans and cool
completely. store in airtight containers. makes 12 servings. source:
pennsylvania dutch cook book – fine old recipes, culinary arts press,
1936.

Wow! Not a bran muffin but this sounds… really coherent. This is one of the few times I think the instructions might result in a somewhat reasonable food.

BUT WAIT, are you ready for BARBECUE SAUCE?

title: crunchy barbecue sauce
categories: bbq sauces
yield: 1 servings

1/2 c brown sugar
1/4 c worcestershire sauce
2 tb brown sugar
1 tb cornstarch
1 tb water
1 ts cornstarch
1/2 ts salt
1 tb cornstarch
1 tb water
1 tb soy sauce
1 ts sesame oil
1 tb cornstarch
1 ts sugar
1 ts soy sauce
1 ts sesame oil

combine all ingredients except salt and pepper in a large saucepan.
bring to a boil, reduce heat and simmer for 1 hour. add cornstarch
and cook until thickened. stir in chicken and cook until thickened.
serve over rice.

And  here we go. Crunchy Barbecue Sauce. That full 1/4 cup of worcestershire sauce. The tons and tons of cornstarch. Oh. Man. What is going on? Weirdly enough, the instructions seem spot-on (except the last two sentences get a bit weird). Here’s a condensed list of the ingredients just to see if it makes sense:

2/3 c brown sugar
1/4 c worcestershire sauce
4 tb cornstarch
2 tb water
1/2 ts salt
2 tb soy sauce
2 ts sesame oil
1 ts sugar

The amounts might need adjusting, but at least it has the right flavors going on. I guess the amount of sugar is why it’s crunchy. But wait! There’s more! Barbecue sauces #1, #2, and #1 [sic]:

title: barbecue sauce #2
categories: sauces
yield: 1 servings

1 c chicken broth
1 c chicken broth
1 tb cornstarch
1 tb soy sauce
1 ts sugar
1 ts sesame oil
1 ts sesame oil
1 ts sesame oil
1 ts sesame oil
1 ts sugar
1/4 ts salt
1 ts sesame oil
1 ts sesame oil
1 tb sesame oil
1 tb cornstarch
1 ts sesame oil
1 ts sesame oil
1 ts sesame oil
1 ts cornstarch
1 ts sesame oil
1 ts sesame oil
1 ts sesame oil
1 ts sugar
1 ts sesame oil
1 ts sesame oil
1 ts sesame oil
1 tb cornstarch
1 tb sesame oil
1 tb water
1 tb sesame oil
1 tb chinese chili paste

cut the chicken into small pieces. heat the oil in a large skillet over
medium heat. add the chicken and cook, turning the chicken frequently,
until the chicken is cooked through, about 5 minutes. remove the chicken
to a plate. remove the chicken from the skillet and keep warm. add the
chicken to the pan and stir-fry for 1 minute. add the chicken and
stir-fry for 1 minute. add the chicken and cook, stirring, for 1
minute. add the chicken and continue to cook for another 2 minutes.
return the chicken to the pan. add the chicken and stir-fry for 1
minute. add the chicken broth and cook for 1 minute. add the chicken
and stir-fry for 2 minutes, then add the sesame oil and stir until
combined. add the chicken and stir-fry for 1 minute. add the chicken
broth and cook, stirring constantly, until the sauce thickens. stir in
the chicken broth and cook for another 2 minutes. stir in the cornstarch
mixture and cook for 1 minute. stir in the chicken broth and cook,
stirring, until the sauce thickens. serve immediately.

serves 4.

from the files of al rice, north pole alaska. feb 1994

Did you remember to cook the chicken? How about the sesame oil?  Ok, good. What about the chicken? Also this recipe is from “north pole, Alaska.”

title: barbecue sauce #1
categories: sauces
yield: 1 servings

1 c water
2 tb soy sauce
1 tb brown sugar
1 tb cornstarch
1 tb soy sauce
1 tb sugar
1 tb cornstarch
1 tb water
1 tb cornstarch
1 tb water
1 tb cornstarch
1 tb water

combine all ingredients in a large saucepan. bring to a boil, reduce heat
and simmer, uncovered, for 1 hour, stirring occasionally. stir in
cornstarch mixture and cook 3 minutes more. stir in cornstarch mixture
until smooth. add salt and pepper to taste. serve over rice.

Yeah, ok, that one makes more sense. Actually that seems to be a legit barbecue sauce. Cool! Unfortunately it’s also the most boring barbecue sauce ever because there are only actually four ingredients and one of them is water.

title: barbecue sauce #2
categories: sauces
yield: 1 servings

1 c brown sugar
1 c water
2 tb soy sauce
1 tb sugar
1 ts salt
1 ts salt
1 ts chili powder
1 ts ground cinnamon
1 ts ground coriander
1 ts ground cardamom
1 ts ground cumin
1 ts ground coriander
1 ts ground ginger
1 ts ground coriander
1 ts ground cardamom
1 ts ground cardamom
1 ts ground coriander
1 ts ground cinnamon
1/4 ts ground cloves
1/4 ts ground cloves
1/4 ts ground cardamom
1/4 ts ground cloves
1/4 ts ground cloves
1/2 ts ground cumin
1/4 ts ground cloves
1/2 ts ground coriander
1/2 ts ground cloves
1/2 ts ground cloves
1/2 ts ground coriander
1/2 ts ground cardamom
1/4 ts ground cloves
1/4 ts ground cumin
1/4 ts ground coriander
1/4 ts ground cumin
1/2 ts ground cardamom
1/2 ts ground cardamom
1/4 ts ground cloves
1/4 ts ground cardamom
1/4 c chopped fresh parsley

combine all ingredients in a large saucepan. bring to a boil, reduce
heat and simmer for 15 minutes. add chicken and cook 10 minutes more.
serve over rice or noodles.

recipe by : recipes from the cooking of indian dishes by cathy star
(c) 1994. typed for you by karen mintzias

Oh jeez what happened. This one starts off well and then SPICES. At least it’s more interesting than the last one!

Okay let’s turn up the heat and see what happens.

Reasonable temperature (0.55)

title: barbecue sauce for steaks
categories: sauces, marinades, low-cal
yield: 1 servings

1 c burgundy wine
1 tb soy sauce
1 c water
1 tb vegetable oil
1 garlic clove, crushed
1 md onion, chopped
1 garlic clove, minced
4 chicken breasts, boned,
-skinned, cut into 1/2-inch
-strips
1 tb cornstarch
1 tb water
1 tb cornstarch paste
1 tb cold water

mein sauce: combine the marinade ingredients and set aside.

in a large pot, bring the water to a boil. add the garlic and stir
for 2 minutes. add the spices and reduce the heat. simmer, covered,
for 10 minutes. remove the pan from the heat and store in an
airtight container.

makes about 1 cup.

Hahaha, another barbecue sauce! Nein, mein sauce!  Too bad the instructions are basically boiled garlic. At this point we’re done with the barbecue sauce (alas).

title: grilled portabello mushrooms with cashews
categories: mexican, vegetables, indian
yield: 4 servings

1 tb mustard seeds
1 tb salt
1 tb ground ginger
2 tb peppercorns
1 tb ground fenugreek
1 tb ground cardamom
1 tb ground cardamom
1/4 ts ground cardamom
1 ts ground cardamom
1 ts ground cumin seeds
1 tb chili flakes
1 ts chili powder
1 ts ground tumeric
1 ts ground cumin

mix all the ingredients together and serve cold.

Oh god this one made me laugh so hard. It’s so beautifully simple! I hope you like spices, because that’s what’s for dinner. Anyone know if this would make any sense at all as a spice mix?

title: hot-pepper caribbean black bean sauce
categories: sauces, vegetables
yield: 1 servings

1 c chicken broth
1 c cooked rice
2 tb soy sauce
1 tb sugar
2 tb soy sauce
1 tb sesame oil
1 c chicken broth
1 ts sugar
1 ts salt
1/4 c soy sauce
2 tb cornstarch mixed with 1/4
-cup water, as needed

serves 4.

place the rice in a saucepan and bring to a boil. add the chicken broth
and cook under medium heat for 5 minutes. remove the chicken from
the pot. add the chicken and cook for another 10 minutes. remove
the chicken from the pan and set aside.

add the chicken and the remaining ingredients and simmer 15 minutes.
skim off the excess fat and return the chicken to the pot.

serve the chicken and sauce with the chicken and a salad.

So wait, what am I supposed to do with the chicken again?

Ok, now let’s really get cookin’!

High Temperature (0.8)

title: junk-joint salet burger
categories: pasta, pork
yield: 6 servings

stephen ceideburg
1 c spam luncheon meat
1 bag fully cooked bacon
2 c sliced green onions
1 stalk fresh basil – chopped
1 clove garlic — sliced
1 c sauerkraut
1/3 c sugar
4 ts lemon-soy sauce
1 ts hot sauce
1/2 ts salt
1/2 c water

in large skillet over medium heat, heat oil over medium heat; cook
garlic until soft, but not browned, about 15 minutes. add remaining
ingredients except noodles; cook for 2 to 3 minutes or until thickened,
stirring after 5 minutes. stir in raisins and simmer for 1 minute.
serve over chicken.

source: taste of home mag, june 1996

It’s a what? I guess if you go to a Junk-Joint and order a Salet Burger this is what you get. Also those ingredients… substitute ground hamburger for spam and you might be able to make a decent, but weird, burger. What’s really neat is that the instructions remember that this is supposed to be pasta (which the ingredients conveniently forgot).

title: chicken & milk grits
categories: poultry
yield: 2 servings

1 whole chicken
– skinned, fat from fresh
– chicken breast
– cut into 1/2 inch strips
1/4 c low-fat cottage cheese
1 (10-oz.) can whole tomatoes
— drained, chilled and
– drained
1 tb olive oil
2 tb sour cream
salt and pepper
4 flour tortillas
cooked spaghetti
mushrooms
parsley
sauted mushrooms

combine flour, salt & pepper in a medium bowl. cut in margarine
until particles and can leave from tip. pat the mixture into a baking dish
and sprinkle with the cheese. bake, basting every 15 minutes, until
crust is golden brown, turning the cheese over after 35 minutes.
meanwhile, mix the egg and water in a small bowl. stir in the remaining
ingredients. pour grated cheese into the pie shell and bake for
20 minutes. remove from oven. sprinkle with roquefort on top.

What… what is this? The name is weird, the ingredients are… confusing (tortillas and spagetti?) and the instructions are for… some weird cheese pie. I don’t really know what to make of this. I think I may need to call a chef to reconcile some of these recipes for me. That said, if you did manage to actually make this it might not be half bad if you made some pretty liberal substitutions and improvisations.

But wait, are you ready to

title: do the cookies
categories: cookies, breads
yield: 1 servings

1 c sugar
1 c shortening
1 tb baking powder
1 c buttermilk
1 ts soda
2 eggs
1 ts vanilla
1/2 ts almond extract
cinnamon

————————–filling——————————-
4 c confectioners sugar
2/3 c water
sprinkles
chocolate chips, karola or
crystallized chocolate
-red berries, for garnish

preheat oven to 350. mix cake mix, salt, flour and salt. beat egg
whites with salt until foamy. gradually add remaining 1/2 cup sugar,
beating until stiff. beat in vanilla extract and vanilla and fold into
batter. pour into remaining tins. bake in a 350 degree oven for 30
minutes until done. cool 1 hour before removing from pan. per
serving: 101 calories, 1 g protein, 12 g carbohydrate, 3 g fat, 3 g
carbohydrate, 0 mg cholesterol, 30 mg sodium.

note: if simple way to do not mix the frosting together with egg and
sugar and your dough will hold the mixture in the freezer.

DO THE COOKIES? Oh man. This is a full, internally consistent, somewhat logical cookie recipe. And, AND, it has nutrition facts. So you know it’s healthy! Wow. Do the cookies!

title: anglesey’s french prepared chicken wings
categories: italian, poultry
yield: 6 servings

1 chicken breast meat, cut into
-serving pcs.
1 c cooked rice
1 c vinegar
1/2 c vinegar
4 cloves garlic, minced
1 tb cider vinegar
1 tb dijon mustard
2 tb red wine vinegar
4 tomatoes, chopped
1 tb celery, fresh, snipped
1 red pepper, julienned,
-seeded and diced
1 tb parsley, chopped
1/4 c red wine vinegar
salt
freshly ground black pepper

thaw and drain chicken (roll up the sides of the chicken). trim and
cut the chicken into strips. combine the chicken with the pork mixture
with the salt, pepper and thyme. mix everything together gently and
add to the chicken mixture. cover and refrigerate for at least 4 hours
or overnight.

…and then what? Wait, do you serve this raw? It put SO MUCH WORK into those ingredients (look at all that vinegar) and then forgot to actually cook the meat (arguably the most important step).

title: grilled portobello mushrooms
categories: vegetables
yield: 4 servings

1 md garlic clove, crushed
1 sm onion, chopped
2 tb butter
8 oz fresh plantains, leaves,
-frozen
– thawed
1/4 c raisins
1 tb balsamic vinegar
1 tb worcestershire sauce
2 tb tamarind sauce
1/8 ts pepper
1 ts lemon juice
1/2 ts garlic, minced
salt to taste
freshly ground pepper

put first 4 ingredients in a bowl, mix well and stir into corn mixture.
in a 2-quart saucepan, heat the butter and 2 tablespoons of the
frankfurter seasoning and add the cooked rice and stir until the sauce
thickens and serves 4 to 6. makes about 2 1/2 cups

recipe by : cooking live show #cl8726

This one is actually so close. If only it actually included portobello mushrooms! Also, I want to emphasize: 8 ounces of fresh plantain leaves, frozen, then thawed. WHAT.

title: chocolate sunchol apple cake
categories: cakes, chocolate, vegetables
yield: 1 servings

1 c brown sugar packed
2/3 c butter or margarine
1/3 c cocoa
2 ts vanilla
1/2 ts almond extract
1 c chopped nuts
1/2 c coconut
3/4 c sour amount of cold water
1/2 c flour
1/2 ts baking soda
1/4 ts salt

in a large bowl, cream margarine. add sugar, flour, vanilla, and eggs.
mix thoroughly. pour into prepared pan. bake 45 minutes or until
oblong starts to pull away from sides of pan and a wooden pick inserted
into center comes out clean. cool in pan on wire rack for 5 minutes.
remove cake from pans to wire rack. remove from cookie sheet to wire
rack and cool.

Another legit pastry… thing! Also with some confusing oddities.

title: home-made potato salad
categories: salads, greek, vegetables, pork
yield: 6 servings

1 lg ripe avocado,cubed
1/2 ts lemon juice
1 c chicken broth
1/2 ts ground cumin
1/4 ts salt
1/8 ts pepper
1/4 ts cumin
1 c cooked rice
1/4 c water
1 c broccoli florets
3 c chicken broth
1/4 c parsley, finely chopped
2 tb green onions, finely chopped
pinch nutmeg

break up cooked peas. saut� garlic in oil until soft. stir in flour
and stir until smooth. combine all ingredients. cook and stir over medium
heat until sauce boils and thickens. cool
1/4 hour before serving.

That’s a weird potato salad. But you know what, it might be good! Dang, I’m getting hungry.

I also had some fun turning the temperature up REALLY high. The recipes get… out there. Have a look

Crazy high temperature (1.1)

  title: horey dipping sauce-(among-burlas)
categories: japanese, sauces, chutneys
yield: 1 cup

1 c cream and port:
1/8 c whole-wheat flour
2 tb canola; grated
32 oz tomate; sliced
3 tb crumbled honey
3/4 c onions; chopped fine
1/4 c bell pepper; chopped
2 ts accent
1 c chicken; cooked,chopped
1/4 ts poultry seasoning; if desired
1 1/2 ts peanut oil
4 green onions; peeled and
-thinly sliced

saute onion, green onions and celery just until onions begin to soften.
place for 1 minute add beans, water, chicken bouillon cube, green
onions, and cabbage. bring to a boil. boil uncovered quickly,
covered, for 20 minutes.

ladle into warm soup bowls. top with chicken and serve.

note: you can substitute cooked vegetables for thin strands of
rice. potatoes can go to be with really better some commercially back
in place of this. i also added this in backbone. wonderful!

Yeah ok, some kind of… honey peanut canola chicken thing. I can live with that. Let’s get weirder!

title: crispy ripe fetureurs
categories: chinese, game
yield: 8 servings

8 ea fresh artichokes; each 3″ died
2 ea garlic cloves; minced
1 ea onion; grated, or marinade
12 oz goonne, whole black bean; **
1 ea bay leaf
1/2 ts ginger; fresh, peeled,
-ground
1/2 ts salt
3 tb chili berry or vinaigrette
2 tb soy sauce
3 tb vinegar
1 tb dijon mustard
salt and freshly ground
-black pepper
1 lb peeled carrots
3 tb peanut oil
4 1/2 c water
1 1/2 lb chicken; quartere

chop all of this liquids into separate bowls. put 2 mayonnaise into a
large bowl. stir in the garbanzo beans until pureed. add the
pork and mix thoroughly. toss the spatula and toss well with the
first mixture. set aside for a few hours before coating.

remove the skin to a dinnworm enough to act a lasagle, starting in the
rosette. roast, uncovered, in a hot 350 f. oven for 15 minutes.
meanwhile, wash the lettuce, well, tuver peel the green palm. hold the
carrots very finely. but do not rinse them. after they are cooked
to the texture, place the sauce in another hot skillet largeroune,
and add enough hot water to cover it.

cover and simmer the soup until the rice is done, about 4-6 hours,
date to see dowel up. pour into hot sterilized jars to make sure your
amber liquid has reheated. chiln quickly if the barbeque side is
chilled and stored in a storage tin, loosely probably one day, watch
until chiles are soupy, thoughly barbecued, about 37 hours, or in the
refrigerator to marinate the meat or your beurre but may be made up to 2
days, covered.

cornstarch mixture: this sauce manie sirfully begin to should
be approximately 3 cups of cooking your toothpicks.

from black beans & the ultimated cookery.. conf: grasne ago
vyra bennett un, tradhlenl

Oh jeez too weird too weird. There’s so much going on in here. What is a dinworm? For that matter, What’s a lasagle? The first paragraph is 100% gold. Also, this recipe takes a long time. First, you have to stir some beans until pureed. You have to puree beans with a spoon. Then you cook the… dinnworm… for 15 minutes, then simmer the soup for 4-6 hours, then watch the “chiles” until they are “soupy, thoughly barbecued,” which takes 37 hours or up to 2 days.

title: fried parmesan 5-mint
categories: appetizers
yield: 8 servings

4 fresh ham, thinly sliced as
-slices 1/2 inch thick
3 md fresh mushrooms, thinly
sliced
1/4 c toasted sliced green onions
– (finely)
2 lg black pepper, the
1 tb grated parmesan or sandwich
1/4 c lowfat yogurt
1/3 c sour cream
lime wedges
parsley sprigs

1. place remaining ingredients in each of a bl. plate, cover and microwave
on 300of until cheese melts (about 15 seconds). serve at once, with
salsa.

Somehow the network made an OK sounding chip dip. I love that the instructions are basically “throw everything in a bowl and microwave.”

In summary, holy cow! This is so much more coherent than my previous experiments, and with only one night of training! I definitely need to dig into this a bit more. If you’ve somehow made it to the end of this post and want MORE, I’ve found another blog that does similar things. Check it out!

Posted in char-rnn, CycleGAN | Tagged , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Double Jeopardy

Because I was gone for most of the weekend, (and because I didn’t want that awful jokebot being the first thing people see of this blog) I retrained the jeopardy network to some amusing results. Take a gander:

THE SPORTING LIFE,$400,’The first of these in the U.S. was the first to control the state of Maryland’,a statue of Martin Luther King, Jr.

THE OLD WEST,$800,’This country is the only one of the world’s largest countries’,Chile

THE BIBLE,$400,’This composer of the 1999 film The Sound of Music was a star of the 1995 film The Sound of Music’,John Steinbeck

THE SOUTHERN DANDY,$400,’The name of this country is a synonym for a state of a country’,South Africa

John Steinbeck composed and starred in a 1999 remake of The Sound of Music, apparently. Also a statue of MLK Jr. took over Maryland, and Chile is bigger than I previously thought. The more you know! Increasing the temperature a bit:

A WORLD OF BEER,$400,’The first of these in the U.S. was a company in 1999′,a balloon

THE CARIBBEAN,$400,’The sea is the capital of this country’,Chile

THE FIFTH,$400,’The name of this body part is from the Latin for to strain into a string’,a contract

THE STORY OF O,$400,’This country is the second largest city in the world’,Martinique

BEAR SCREEN,$200,’This author of The Secret Garden was based on a 1989 film about a stripper who was a little boy’,James Bond

FICTIONAL DETECTIVES,$1000,’This 1954 film is set in the 1997 film seen here’,The Man Who Shot The Rainier

ART & ARTISTS,$1000,’This Southern country was a colony of the New York City Company in 1968 & is now a capital city’,Berkeley

The network continues to fail at geography. In addition to being the largest country in the world, the capital of Chile is the sea. Also, some of Jame’s Bond’s sordid origins and a 1950’s sci-fi detective film, The Man Who Shot The Rainier, which I kind of want to watch. Stepping up the temperature some more, we learn about American history:

THE CIVIL WAR,$600,’In 1990 the Confederacy allowed this country to the U.S. Constitution’,South Africa

THE 1980s,$400,’This son of a president was a senator from 1948 to 1972′,James Buchanan

THE CIVIL WAR,$800,’This secretary of the American Idol was buried in the first festival of the State Department’,Harry Truman

BOOKS OF THE ’60s,$400,’This Seattle children’s team was based on a 1986 movie based on a series of books’,Stevie Wonder

COLLEGES & UNIVERSITIES,$1000,’On April 1, 1998 this country became the first black president to control the U.S. Army’,Japan

BIBLICAL PEOPLE,$400,’This man who resigned as a lawyer in 1994 was the first female president of the Confederacy’,John Adams

THE 1980s,$300,’This man who died in 1978 was a president of the Senate from 1934 to 1990′,Benjamin Franklin

THE NEW YORK TIMES TECH BIZ,$300,’This country’s 1969 exploits were completed in 1936′,Australia

STATE CAPITALS,$1000,’This capital city was founded in 1939 by the El Capitan of New York City’,Columbus

Okay, I snuck some Australian time travel in there. I also got this absolute gem:

THE FIFTH,$400,’This president was the first president to serve as president’,John F. Kennedy

Let’s keep this going:

WORLD CAPITALS,$1000,’The company that contains the largest island in the U.S.’,Canada

THE END,$1000,’It’s the body of water in the Confederacy that shares its name with a former capital’,Barcelona

STATE CAPITALS,$200,’The name of this capital city is a 2-word name for a pope’,Beijing

THE ASTRONAUT HALL OF FAME,$200,’In 1969 he was called the last world championship to win the major series title’,Alexander Hamilton

FAMOUS COLLEGE DROPOUTS,$200,’In 1998 this president was a commander of the Confederate Army’,Adolf Hitler

THE OLD WEST,$200,’In 1991 this American became the first woman to be a consul on the Moon’,Britney Spears

THE SOUTH PACIFIC,$400,’It’s the only country that makes it to the Atlantic Ocean’,Australia

WOMEN AUTHORS,$400,’In 1987 this TV heroine was a spin for the No. 1 hit Heart of Darkness’,John Paul Jones

THE ELEMENTS,$400,’This compound is a major work of the subatomic particle that makes surreal & trick’,a sodict

Godwin’s law invoked! Also, it invented a subatomic particle. Canada is a US-based company, and Britney Spears is a consul on the moon. Things started to get a bit more dadaist from here:

MADE ON CHARACTER!,$2000,’An American author of The House of War, her first novel, The Man Who Loved Me Done, debuted in 1960′,Dennis Hopper

DO YOU BETTER A FACE!,$200,’This term for a condition is from the Latin for indeed’,a white broccoli

THE STATE OF CLASS,$200,’From 1935 to 1996, these U.S. planets abbreviated the Baltimore Order’,the California Signs

BIBLICAL WOMEN,$200,’In the 1996 film poem The Spy Who Does Will Ast Will Believe He in this play retrudes a bad baby back out with his own daughter’,The Sound of Music

YOUR 5-CLUE NEWSCAST,$2000,’This bridge is the southernmost point of the South Pole’,the River State

WOMEN BY THE NUMBERS,$800,’He was good man when he was more famous for his song’,Martin

MIRROW MOVIES BY CHARACTER,$2000,’Jin-Aak,<br />Calamity,<br />the Balthamar’,The Round Table

A IN SCIENCE,$400,’A specialty of this mammal is retracted with plastic pouch & are sacred at its surface to get a beautiful species of bird or brown’,a narwhal

And so on. I do like “jin-Aak, Calamity, the Balthamar.” That’s just a really cool set of titles. Also, The Man Who Loved Me Done sounds like a really solid bodice-ripper and The Spy Who Does Will Ast Will Believe He, the “film poem” sounds adorably artsy. Let’s keep this ball rolling, if only to see where it stops (or what it runs over):

WEBSTER’S 2005 TOP WORK,$1600,’The lady called the Village of Birmingham’,Ler Desser

AUTHORS’ RHYME TIME,$1000,’Steven Smith’s chiffons: ___ Impressionism’,Deslating

THAT’S SO LAW,$2000,’This kind of punch is a thin plant to nose in a camp or a certain man’,a smash

7-LETTER WORDS,$2000,’Wyatt Carlon founded Castro, Lincoln Battle Device & this shrimp group’,a night print

BE A FIREFIGHTING,$1200,’This brand of small color is also called members’,crhatobula

Okay, at this point, the questions are a bit silly, but the categories become excellent:

NOT A ROCKER

WHAT A COCKIN’?

EOGRAPHY

WE LOVE BROWN

WHAT HE WAS IN HOLE

1985: THE EVERYTHING WAR

LOOKER ONE OUT FOR KIDS

ANIMAL YOUNG ‘UNS

THE NEW YORK TIMES METAL

IT HAPPENED IN SPORTS

YOU’RE A BEACH I AM

And more. Just for fun, I took it up one more step:

OKLAHOMA!,$200,’Mark Twain debuted on Marvin Gabbary for this brand maker whose name includes his way to start’,Yellow Submarine

BROADWAY MUSICALS,$800,’Yes to Bag McKorw trades a book for this entertainment chase as a knight in Gilbert & Sullivan’s tokespaces’,Elle Fragg

LITERally ELEMENTS,$200,'(<a href=http://www.j-archive.com/media/2008-11-28_DJ_26.jpg target=_blank>Cheryl delivers the clue from the set of Halloween.</a>) Some people wourd appeal on Inuit inside the <a href=http://www.j-archive.com/media/2011-09-20_J_21a.jpg target=_blank>this</a> important reasonable edge- into the train, in Pennsylvania’,the Elke continent

B IN FASHION,$1000,’It’s the depth at <a href=http://www.j-archive.com/media/2005-12-02_DJ_04.jpg target=_blank>Edward J. Deimos’,Body is American Miss Vinnegas

ICK BIN APPLE,$1,700,’Together Bubble Down is the first earl’s only one’,the T.Orvertine

FAMILIAR PHRASES,$1600,’The straws of <a href=http://www.j-archive.com/media/2008-04-15_DJ_03.jpg target=_blank>this</a> lair found in the Smithsonian’,Herudge

20th CENTURY FASHION,$1600,'(<a href=http://www.j-archive.com/media/2009-09-12_J_15.jpg target=_blank>Kelly of the Clue Crew gives the clue from Iran in New York.</a>) Oliver stands for floppares for one of these; John Infords chose to fame for one title play’,154

GONE BUT NOT,$1600,'(<a href=http://www.j-archive.com/media/2005-01-28_DJ_12.jpg target=_blank>Alex reports from a cape at ’34.</a>) Along with a river on New York’s capital holiday, this capital of Luxor lacks cheese & vegetables planted by both Talmania & Haiti’,Trenton

DUSTIN COUNTRY HEIR STORIES,$2000,’Weird TV’s Whale’,Paddhe

OF DROPOVERS,$200,’Whatzer made the offland symphony did this oney; as Greek & Spider restored, he might wake <a href=http://www.j-archive.com/media/2005-03-18_DJ_19.jpg target=_blank>Emerson Clinton Treola</a> is testing the screens like Jewel to distinguish its world & kidnapped line’,Bulfinchav

To my surprise, a new behavior emerged- the network produces fully formed, syntactically-correct hyperlinks to images stored in the jeopardy archive website. This wasn’t present in any of the previous temperature level, and the accuracy of these hyperlinks is somewhat astounding. Though I’m fairly sure none of the targets actually exist- I saved 100kb of output as html and all of the links gave a 404, which was disappointing. In theory, eventually it might produce a real link but it would probably take a while.

This makes me want to return to something I tried a while ago, namely training on random files from the ubuntu source, but that’ll have to wait until after my current big project, which I can only say is a cool computer vision thing.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Jokebot redux

Jokebot has finished training. It still has some serious issues. Perhaps the issues are even more serious.

DISCLAIMER: The “jokes” the network produces do not represent my views or sense of humor. The data was scraped from reddit and it shows. Also the network has become VERY RUDE, so proceed with caution.

Very low temperature:

What do you call a cow with no legs? A: A pilot, you racist.

What do you call a black man who speaks a piece of course? A small medium at large.

What do you call a black guy who likes to be a company lived in a car? A paragraph and a condom.

What do you call a black man that has a porcupine? A pilot, you racist piece of cake.

What do you call a cow that doesn’t work? A condescending con descending.

What do you call a black guy who can’t see? A small medium at large.

It appears that at this temperature the network has over-fitted a bit. Specifically, most of the answers are “A small medium at large,” or “A pilot, you racist piece of [cheese, cake, shit, etc].” I did laugh at “you racist piece of cake” though.

Low temperature:

What do you call a short pilot? A pedophile.

Why do black people have such big noses? Because they can’t even.

What do you call a transformer who can’t fly? A baked potato.

What do you call a black man who doesn’t scream at least year? A little shit.

What do you call a bunch of dead babies? A family seat.

What do you call a dead baby flying a plane? A baked potato.

What do you call a deaf prostitute? A broken nose.

What do you call a scary girl with a shit with her brothers? A cock in your mouth

Dear god it’s only gotten worse. What have I created?

Medium temperature:

Why did the dick go to the man in the mud? He was taking a shit!

Why couldn’t the chicken cross the road? It was two-tired.

What do you call a deaf man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? A pilot, you racist mother.

What’s the difference between a comedian and a gay guy? A hockey player showers after 3 periods.

What do you call a superhero who is going to be a tree? An asshole.

What do you call a fat person who only eats gay men? A semi-chicken

What did the pedophile say to the pirate? Nothing.

 

But on the plus side, it also created these:

What do you call a woman with an extra leg? A woman

What did the doctor say when he fell out of the closet? Damn

High temperature:

What did the cremate say to the stove? Whoat. Oh, it was out yet.

What do you call a stoner with a bad real paint in your jean? Half of course!

How do you make a blind man organ? With a snowblower.

What do Jewish people with breasts and dumb games have in common? Everyone wants to smell it, but it’s gonna be dead.

What do you call a cow with a pet dog? A space member

What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a bag of cocaine? one spits and the other is a group of cunning.

What do you call a gun on a wheelchair? A tooth crip.

What do you call a cow with no eyes? The Nemon Roll.

What do you call a chicken coop with a donkey and a white guy? A crustacean!

What do you call two monkeys floating in the middle of the ocean? The Amazon.

What’s a stormtrooper’s favorite sport? Project and Tour Debate

This is where the network got the most laughs. Some of them are just so absurd. It also had a few of my least favorite “jokes”

Very high temperature:

What do you call a Mexican with one phone in his arse? No PROCEDO

Which have you call a Graveyard nurse? Shroting me Debatins

What has 3 beans? A Brown.

What’s the difference between 8 out of roux and figure?,You can tuna piano, but you can’t jelly until your mom on your ass.

What do you call a confused asian? Spaghetti

How do you cut an elephant into a snowblower? I’ll tell you tomorrow.

What did the buffalo say to the ground? Nothing. He just came back.

What is Bruce Lee’s favourite food???8? URDUMA

How many average people does it take to change a light bulb?None, it’s still dark dirty.

What did the dumb brothel say?I wooden hanger.

Why did captain say the toaster between her boyfriend?Cause the dick waves pings.

What do you call a cow machine? A cow with cheese.

As you can see, it got a bit dadaist, as is wont to occur.

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Jokebot

I fixed the problems! It seemed that I needed to update Cutorch, and in order to do that, I had to update CUDA, and in the process I inadvertently uninstalled my graphics drivers. What an adventure. To celebrate, I’ve been training char-rnn on a database of question/answer jokes scraped from reddit. Still early in training, but here are some highlights so far.

DISCLAIMER: The jokes the network produced are not representative of my opinions. The source data came from scraping a subreddit and it shows. The network is… a little offensive sometimes.

Low temperature:

What do you call a man who can’t even live? A star track.

What do you call a group of banana that can’t stand a lot of leaves? An angry banana.

Why do mathematicians have to go to the other to talk to the bar? Because they can go stop the political and store they go to the bar.

What do you call a prostitute with no legs? A pilot of the bar.

What do you call a group of children who goes to a chicken star? A sandwich.

What do you call a chicken that starts a basketball team? A star bang.

What do you call a prostitute that can’t even live? A star to the chimney.

What do you call a black man who has a bar and a redneck in the world?,A person that has a great salad.

For some reason it really likes the answer “A star” and “A pilot” and including prostitutes in the questions.

Raising the temperature a bit, we see:

What do you call a porn star that doesn’t wark? A pencil

What do you call an alligator with no legs? A space mate.

What do you call a prostitute who is going to be a computer? A pot battery

What do you call a group of baby that doesn’t have a bar? Lettuce

Did you hear about the person who got a few bar stars? He had a horse with the shopping story.

There were also a few that started to get a bit lewd, which I guess says something about the data source. Let’s keep cranking up the heat!

What’s the difference between a terrorist and a chickpea? Errrrrrrrrly marks out of a stranded college.

What do you get when you put an elephant in a car? The holly-convention

What do you get when black girls want to pee? 1st light.

Okay, what the hell, jokebot. That got bad fast. And it doesn’t get much better:

What do you call a midget in a prostitute? A cross character.

What do you call an Indian snake fighting his brother? A HAR GUUR NELLAR!

What does a porn star say to a Jewish bank?,Hello Game of a toilet Life.

Did you hear about the cock-worker who was in the statistic on the stool?,He had a man from the weather.

Whyyyyyy.

For science, let’s crank the temperature all the way up.

How do you react a hippie? An angry salad.

What is the sound of irony? Osian.

What’s the difference between a Day and a gas bill? Thought in the oven.

Why can’t the chicken take a deud at the main crag countant? At the swseek.

What did the doctor say to the mathematician? Fuck mississippy!

What’s the difference between an alcoholic and a baby? With a portuplage binguins, they’re both tattooed.

Did you know about Pokemon massacre Tunnels? His son makes a tight in the Olympics teaches.

Why doesn’t Usian greet a pothead? He’s always stopped up bunched!

Why won’t Michelle coop continue?,Because a punched people in pedophiles.

This is actually better… just because they make less sense. It clearly has a really twisted sense of humor though. Pokemon massacre Tunnels? WHAT?

This seems to be a pretty clear example of why data is important. I expected most of the jokes to be clean with a few bad ones, but it seems to be the other way around. I’ll keep training to see what happens, mostly because I’m curious.

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